Things my golden retriever thinks are team activities

There are many things I expected when I brought home a golden retriever. Walks? Absolutely. Playtime? Of course. A permanent furry shadow who follows me from room to room as if we've signed up for every activity together? That part caught me by surprise.

Somewhere along the way, Lana decided that being part of the family meant participating in absolutely everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything.

Toilet trips have never been the same again. I open a door and she's there. I close the fridge and she's there. I turn around and she's staring at me. Honestly, sometimes I think she appears out of thin air.

It's less like living with a dog and more like having a very fluffy personal assistant who refuses to respect personal space. In Lana's world, privacy is less of a rule and more of a suggestion.

Today's team activities, according to Lana

Activity 1  ·  Supervision

Going to the bathroom

No explanation is really needed here. Dog owners already understand.

The moment I stand up, Lana somehow knows. It doesn't matter if she's fast asleep, on the other side of the house, or busy doing something far more important. Within seconds, she's there.

Apparently no bathroom trip should ever be undertaken alone.

Activity 2  ·  Quality control

Making the bed

Making the bed appears to be one of Lana's favourite team activities. Unfortunately, her contribution usually involves lying directly on the blanket I'm trying to straighten.

The more I attempt to fix the bedding, the more comfortable she becomes. It's impressive, really.

And for some reason, freshly cleaned bedding seems to trigger a sudden case of zoomies. Whether she's trying to add her scent back to everything or simply celebrating the occasion, I may never know.

Activity 3  ·  Investigation

Opening snacks

The sound of a snack packet can summon a golden retriever from three rooms away. Scientists may never fully explain this phenomenon.

One second the house is quiet. The next, Lana has appeared beside me looking as though she just happened to be passing by and definitely wasn't investigating what I'm eating.

What amazes me most is that she somehow knows the difference between packets. A cheese wrapper? Immediate response. Something boring? Not nearly as exciting. How she can identify valuable snacks purely by sound remains one of life's greatest mysteries.

Activity 4  ·  Inspection

Folding laundry

Freshly folded laundry is apparently not meant to remain folded. It's meant to be inspected. Possibly sat on. And occasionally covered in golden retriever fur before it reaches the cupboard.

Quality control is very important.

And somehow, by the end of the process, one sock has mysteriously vanished. I suspect Lana considers this part of her role as Chief Laundry Inspector.

Activity 5  ·  Safety first

Taking a shower

You'd think a dog who isn't particularly enthusiastic about bath time would have little interest in showers. You'd be wrong.

Lana doesn't need to join me. She simply feels the need to supervise the situation from nearby. Just in case, apparently.

She waits right outside the door. And the moment the water turns off, she's the first one to greet me, as though I'd been gone for hours rather than four minutes.

Activity 6  ·  Moral support

Emotional support cooking

Activity 7  ·  Customs & inspection

Checking every grocery bag

Every grocery bag must be inspected. Every item must be approved. These are the rules. I don't make them.

The moment shopping enters the house, Lana arrives to conduct what appears to be a very thorough investigation. She's especially hopeful that one of the bags contains something for her.

Sometimes she's right. And sometimes I feel so bad that there's nothing in there for her that I secretly grab one of her treats and pretend it came from the grocery bag. I know. I shouldn't. But the excitement on her face is priceless, and I'm fairly certain she genuinely believes it came out of the shopping.

Oh, and most deliveries arriving at our house are actually for Lana. At this point, when a package arrives at the door, she looks positively convinced it's hers. I can almost hear her thinking: "Perfect. My order has arrived."

The real reason

The funny thing is that dogs don't actually care what we're doing. They're not interested in folded laundry. They don't genuinely need to inspect groceries. And they certainly don't need to supervise every trip to the bathroom.

They simply want to be where we are.

Whether I'm making the bed, cooking dinner, carrying groceries, or moving from one room to another, Lana somehow finds a way to be part of it. And if I'm honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.

She kind of makes me feel very important, you know?

Because one day, the little shadow following me around the house won't be there anymore. And I'll miss every single one of those "team activities."

Even the bathroom trips. ❤️

Anelda

with Lana